


All I Want For Christmas (Is A Fake Boyfriend)

by coffeeorder



Category: Glee
Genre: All the holidays, AnderBros, Attempt at Humor, Christmas, Co-workers, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Fluff, M/M, Past Blaine Anderson/Sebastian Smythe, Romance, Valentine's Day
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-01
Updated: 2020-12-16
Packaged: 2021-03-10 01:08:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 7,000
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27825781
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/coffeeorder/pseuds/coffeeorder
Summary: Blaine doesn't need setting up on annoying holiday dates because he already has a boyfriend. Sort of.
Relationships: Blaine Anderson/Kurt Hummel
Comments: 241
Kudos: 161
Collections: Klaine Advent 2020





	1. Abashed

**Author's Note:**

> So I saw a poster for a movie called Holidate and I have just run with it. I actually haven't seen the movie so this is purely based off the premise only. 
> 
> Written for the 2020 Klaine advent. I will add tags and change rating as we go because we are playing this day by day, folks 😬

Blaine never thought he would say this, but he hates Christmas. He hasn’t always hated Christmas. The sum of time he's hated Christmas is actually only for the last few months. Since he hit twenty nine which is _basically_ thirty which is when everyone in his family expects him to have settled down by.

He very much _hasn’t_ settled down though, and not through lack of trying. He bought the engagement ring on the same day that he came home to find his ex-boyfriend just plain gone, taking all his stuff and the cat with him. 

Blaine will never forgive Sebastian about the cat. And he’s pretty bummed about the engagement thing too. 

That was six months ago, and this is the first Christmas he’s going to have to face solo in some time. It’s the small things he misses. He has no one to wear obnoxiously matching Christmas sweaters with (ok he always had to bribe Sebastian with blowjobs to get him to go through with it but they were still adorable, dammit.) He has no one to exchange cheesy mistletoe kisses with, no thoughtful gift that hasn’t just been picked off an amazon wish list, no one to curl sleepily up with at the end of a long day of over eating and drinking too much and an over abundance of festive cheer. 

Christmas Day is the worst. Blaine looks round the table and just sees couples. His mom and dad. Cooper and his wife Daisy. Tina, who Blaine has known since he was two and is near enough a sister to him, and her husband Mike. 

“Is your man not with you this year, Blaine?” Mike asks and gets an immediate dig in the ribs from his wife. 

“Blaine broke up with Sebastian,” Tina hisses. “I told you.”

“I did not break up with Sebastian,” Blaine declares solemnly. “He literally disappeared while I was at work. And he stole my cat.’”

“Ah,” Mike winces. “Sorry I bought it up. Your _cat_?”

“His cat,” Cooper confirms, leaning into the conversation and looking fit to commit murder. “After four years, that weasel breaks up with my baby brother by just plain disappearing and then calling him a few days later with the most pathetic break up speech I have ever heard of _and_ he took the cat. I never liked him, but I never thought he would be capable of all that.”

“Wait,” Blaine says. “You never liked him?”

“No,” Cooper says. “He was too…”

“Argumentative?” Mike suggests. 

“Hostile,” Daisy offers. 

“Bit bitchy to be honest.” That’s Tina’s contribution. 

“Cold,” Cooper decides. “You’re like the sun, B. You need someone that helps you shine, not dim your glow.”

Blaine is slightly abashed. Both by the odd, what he assumes was meant to be a compliment from his brother, and the fact that apparently no one liked his ex. He opens his mouth to say something but his mother cuts in. 

“And you better find him soon, Blainey. You don’t want to die alone like your Uncle Allan. You should let me set you up for New Year’s Eve.”

“Not now, Ma,” Blaine says tiredly. This is not the first time she has said this. It’s not even the first time _today_. 

“Uncle Allan travelled the world. He had a million friends and a very fulfilling life,” Cooper chips in mildly. “He died in _Paris_.”

“Blaine will not be fulfilled by staring at the Eiffel Tower,” Pam insists. “Unless it is with the love of his life. He is a romantic like me. And the man I want to set him up with is a lawyer. He’s very handsome and rich.”

Blaine winces. “I don’t need a date for New Year’s,” he says through gritted teeth. 

“And just not kiss someone when the ball drops?” Pam says like it’s the most ridiculous thing she’s ever heard of. “Joshua will kiss you. The lawyer. I asked.”

“ _Mom_ ,” Blaine hisses and Tina coughs in what sounds like a poor cover up for a laugh. 

“You want to start your year as you mean to go on, right?” Tina says, eyes sparkling with mischief. “Why not start your year with a hot, rich lawyer that will guarantee kiss you.” 

Blaine kicks her under the table. She doesn’t even wince. 

“I mean, where is the harm, B?” Cooper asks thoughtfully and Blaine turns to him in complete betrayal. 

“Not you too, Coop!” 

“It’s arranged then,” Pam says happily. 

“It is very much _not_ arranged,” Blaine protests. 

“Why not?” Pam demands.

“Because… Because I already have a date to New Year’s,” Blaine blurts and is as surprised as anyone that those are the words that came out of his mouth. 

“Really?” Tina says doubtfully. 

“Who?” Cooper asks. 

Blaine swallows, searches his brain and lands on the only gay, single person he knows who is in Ohio for Christmas. “Kurt.”

“Kurt,” Cooper says slowly. “The guy you work with?”

“Yep. That’s the guy. He’s, you know, very handsome and gay. And tall.” Blaine winces internally. Technically all those things are true but what the _fuck_?

“You didn’t mention him,” Pam says doubtfully. 

“It’s new. Brand new.” So new it doesn’t even exist. “Not really telling people yet.”

Cooper peers at him and Blaine tries his hardest not to blink. 

“Great,” Cooper booms suddenly, clapping his hand on Blaine’s arm. “I guess I’ll meet him there then.” It’s not issued like a challenge. Cooper seems genuinely happy that Blaine has been saved from the clutches of Joshua, the hot lawyer. The problem, of course, is Blaine won’t be showing up with Kurt. Kurt barely knows he exists. 

The conversation moves away from Blaine, much to his relief. Panic sets in on the heels of relief pretty quickly though. It’s going to be incredibly embarrassing to pretend that he got stood up by a date he didn’t even _have_ at a New Year’s party he has no desire to even go to. 

He briefly considers faking his own death but quickly dismisses the idea. He could just… ask Kurt to go with him. He has his number because they are technically in the same team and have to have each other’s numbers for call tree purposes. Blaine has never used it. He thinks they’ve probably only exchanged seven sentences altogether and most of those were just the word “hi”. If he hadn’t ran into Kurt in the kitchen the day before the office closed for Christmas he wouldn’t even know he was going to be in Ohio. 

It’s too weird. 

He glances up to see Tina smirking at him from across the table. _Boy trouble_? She mouths innocently, clearly unconvinced of the whole thing. Which is fair. Usually when Blaine likes someone, he does not shut up about them. He’s probably mentioned Kurt’s name twice ever. 

Blaine gets his phone out under the table. It can’t hurt to just _ask_ Kurt.


	2. Brake

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow thank you so much for your response to the first chapter 🥰
> 
> I will be replying to individual comments soon but for now please enjoy part 2.

Blaine settles on texting Kurt a version of the truth; not sure he could handle the prospect of being completely, humiliatingly rejected on top of everything else.

 **Blaine** : Hi. It’s Blaine. From work. Really funny thing happened where I kind of told my whole family we were dating. Long story. Anyway I also may have said that you’re coming to our New Year’s Eve party as my date. So. Yeah. Would you like to? Come, I mean. As my fake date. 

**Blaine** : Oh. Merry Christmas. 

Blaine rereads the texts and feels himself go red from pure embarrassment. If he wasn’t trying to do this secretly under the table, he could have thought it out a bit better. _Anything_ would have been better than that. 

Kurt doesn’t answer straight away, and Blaine can hardly blame him. It is Christmas Day after all. Kurt probably has better things to do than deal with weird ass messages from a random co-worker. Blaine suddenly deeply wishes it was possible to recall text messages. Kurt is going to take one look at that nonsense and report him to HR. 

It’s later when they’re all settled around the TV watching _Home Alone_ (as tradition dictates) when Kurt finally replies. 

**Kurt Hummel:** Wait. Just put the brakes on for a second. I have so many questions. 

**Kurt Hummel** : I mean, I am an excellent choice for a fake boyfriend. I am amazing at meeting parents. Just saying. 

**Kurt Hummel:** But… what the fuck?

Blaine sighs. It’s not like he was really expecting Kurt to just say, “Oh gee, what an incredible offer, I would love to be your fake date for an evening, such fun.” But still. It’s painful. 

**Blaine** : This might be easier in person. You’re in Lima, right? You want to meet at the Lima Bean sometime in the week? I can explain everything. 

Blaine watches nervously as the dots showing Kurt is writing appear and disappear a few times before a single word answer finally comes through. “ _OK_ ”. 

*

They agree on the Sunday, the day after boxing day and a small part of Blaine’s awkwardness is assuaged when he sees Kurt, leaning easily against the wall outside, looking handsome in his military style coat and a bright blue scarf.

“Hi,” he says as he draws close.

“Hey, fake boyfriend,” Kurt says playfully, grinning. Blaine takes this as a good sign. 

“Actually, we’re not official. Just dating,” he corrects and Kurt laughs. 

“Sorry. Am I moving too fast in this fake relationship?”

“Yes, actually,” Blaine says primly. “Let me at least buy you a coffee first.”

The Lima Bean is festooned in Christmas glory. Kurt seems slightly enchanted by it and orders a seasonal Gingerbread Latte. Blaine is still feeling distinctly anti-Christmas and gets his usual Medium Drip. They chat while they wait, and Blaine is struck by how sharp and funny Kurt is. They’ve never spoken enough for Blaine to really get an impression of him but now he’s starting to think he actually made a decent choice. Granted, it was the only choice. But it was decent. 

“So, I said it was a long story,” Blaine starts nervously once they’re sitting in a corner underneath a terrifying inflatable snowman. “But it’s actually quite simple. My family is somehow worried I’m going to, and I quote, ‘die alone’, and were trying to set me up for New Year’s. The prospect of being set up was so horrifying that, instead of just saying I didn’t want to, like a normal person, I just blurted out that I was already seeing someone. And that it was you.” 

Kurt frowns slightly. “OK, I guess I get all that. I mean, it’s kind of…” he pauses as if searching for a word that won’t be offensive. “Convoluted,” he settles on. “But, why me? We’ve barely spoken before now.”

“I just remembered that you were going to be in Ohio,” Blaine admits sheepishly. “And I needed someone that was single, and it was kind of all round the office that you broke up with Adam last month,” he says awkwardly. “Sorry.”

Kurt shrugs. “We’re better as friends,” he says, waving it off. “So, you just picked me because I was the only single guy you knew in all of Ohio? And here I was feeling so flattered.” He grins and Blaine ducks his head a little guiltily. 

“You _should_ feel flattered because I told my family that you’re very handsome. Does that help?”

Kurt laughs at that. “ _Very_ handsome, huh?” His eyes sparkle and Blaine is struck by just _how_ good-looking he is. “It does help,” Kurt decides. “So how do you want to play this?”

Blaine blinks. “What?”

“The fake dating thing. What are the rules? How long have we been seeing each other? We need _backstory_ , Blaine. We can’t go in half assed.”

“Wait, so… you’ll do it?”

Kurt smiles, a little softer. “I’ll do it.” He pauses, cocks his head in thought. “Besides, it’s not like there’s anything better to do in Lima on New Year’s Eve.” 

Blaine can’t disagree with that.


	3. Careless

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's a little late, folks. 
> 
> Thank you so much for the comments and kudos. It means a lot!

“You mentioned rules,” Blaine says, dunking his biscotti in his coffee. They’re on their second round of drinks now, having spent a passionate twenty minutes arguing over who would have asked out who first. Kurt won, citing reasons of Blaine’s text being the weirdest thing he’s ever read. Blaine can’t exactly argue with that (although it had _worked_ hadn’t it?) and he wants to keep Kurt sweet, so he concedes the point.

“Mmhm,” Kurt hums. His second drink is supposedly a hot chocolate but looks like a mountain of cream in a mug. Blaine watches as Kurt scoops a little up on his finger and licks it off, closing his eyes for a moment in apparent pleasure. Blaine quickly drops his gaze to his coffee. The last thing he needs is to start having careless thoughts about Kurt’s tongue on top of everything else. They still need to work together after this.

“Did you have anything in mind?” Blaine asks and his voice comes out a little breathless. He clears his throat.

“Um…” Kurt considers for a moment. “Well, I suppose the big one is how long are we going to keep it up?”

“How long…?” Blaine repeats. “I hadn’t really thought. Just until after the party I suppose.”

“And if your mom tries to set you up for Valentine’s Day?” Kurt teases. “Am I going to get a phone call asking me to pretend that we got back together?”

“You’re assuming I won’t find someone else before Valentine’s Day,” Blaine points out, not really offended. He almost definitely won’t find a new guy by Valentine’s Day because he has no intention of looking for one.

Kurt shrugs. “It doesn’t make much difference to me either way. I’m single and intending to stay that way for a bit. It’s just if we’re going to all the effort of lying…” he trails off.

Blaine contemplates this. The thought of his mother trying to set him up with random lawyers at every major holiday is not exactly a comforting one. Blaine is bruised from the way his relationship ended with Sebastian. He just needs to be on his own for a while. “Let’s review after the party,” he says eventually. “Maybe if you’re a great fake date, I will extend the terms.”

He’s relieved when Kurt just laughs and rolls his eyes. “How romantic.”

“Rule two,” Blaine says, warming to the theme. “We can’t tell anyone this is fake. It would be too humiliating. Mostly for me.”

“That’s a given. In fact, I think we should just not mention the whole thing at work, fake or otherwise.”

“Agreed. Anything else?”

Kurt frowns in thought. “If it’s just one night, that’s probably all we need to worry about, right?”

“Well…” Blaine bites his lip. “There is the kissing thing.”

“The kissing thing?” Kurt repeats slowly.

“It’s New Year’s Eve,” Blaine says somewhat apologetically. He doesn’t know why he feels quite so awkward about this. It’s not like he has any dignity left at this point.

He watches as the realisation dawns on Kurt’s face. “Ohh. Midnight kiss. Yeah, OK.”

Blaine blinks, “Really?”

“It’s only a kiss, Blaine,” Kurt says gently. “And it would be pretty weird if we didn’t.”

It’s a surprisingly pragmatic take on the situation but Blaine is not going to complain about it.

“OK,” is all he says. “It’s a deal.”

Once Kurt has finally waded through the cream and they’ve tried to cram three weeks’ worth of ‘getting to know you’ conversations into fifteen minutes, Kurt walks him out to his car.

“So, I had fun today,” Kurt says, ducking his head bashfully in a slightly exaggerated way and Blaine shoves gently at his arm.

“Save it for my parents,” he protests and Kurt laughs, bright and loud.

“You’re a very odd person,” he says not unkindly. “Can I just…?” He shuffles forward a little, standing close and adjusting Blaine’s scarf, letting his hand linger against Blaine’s chest. “Just practising,” he winks.

“Oh. Right,” Blaine breathes. Kurt is close enough that Blaine becomes aware of the height difference, having to tip his head back slightly to look at Kurt’s face. Kurt is smiling at him, surprisingly sweetly. “You’re good at this,” Blaine blurts.

Kurt leans in closer and Blaine’s breath catches in sudden anticipation. But Kurt just grins. “Told you I was an excellent choice,” he teases and swings away, waving as he walks off around the corner and out of sight.


	4. Despensable

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A little bit of Kurt's POV. I'm hoping to do a slightly longer chapter tomorrow. Thank you so much for all your comments 💖

If Kurt will acknowledge one flaw about himself, it’s that he can be a little impulsive. Sometimes, this can lead to good things, like his first time singing on a Broadway stage while still in high school. 

Sometimes it can be bad, like switching what song he was going to sing thirty seconds before his NYADA audition (some small part of him still wonders to this day if that’s why he didn’t get in.)

He’s still not sure how the decision to humour Blaine is going to turn out.

He’s spending Christmas with his family which, these days, is just his parents, Finn and Rachel and their adorable daughter. He’s admittedly feeling a little sorry for himself, craving the casual intimacy he sees in his brother’s relationship. The lingering touches, the soft smiles, the singing together in the kitchen while they’re washing up. They’re still so in love, even seven years down the line. He wants that. Although, preferably without all the former high school drama part. 

Kurt has never even been with anyone long enough to reach that point. He dates. He’s had boyfriends. But they’ve all fizzled out one after the other. He isn’t entirely sure what it is he is looking for; he just knows he hasn’t found it yet. He also knows he’s tired of working his way through a parade of interchangeable, dispensable men. He’s tired of not finding someone to connect with on a deeper level than the superficial. Really, he is just plain tired of dating. 

He thinks of Adam. Nice, and charming enough. A perfect gentleman. But there was no spark. No real desire. It all felt so… _boring_. 

“I’m taking some time off dating,” he announces to Rachel, apropos of nothing on Christmas Day. And then he sees Blaine’s text. “If it doesn’t work out with this current guy,” he adds, as naturally as if he had been expecting it.

Technically, what Blaine is suggesting in his text wouldn’t even be dating. So Kurt can keep up his brand new anti-dating rule and have actual plans for New Year’s Eve that don’t involve watching his dad fall asleep on the couch long before midnight. It would be kind of ‘have your cake and eat it too’ situation. And Blaine has that incredible ass. Which is a plus. It’s pretty much the only thing he knows about Blaine actually. So naturally, he does have some questions.

It turns out that Blaine, face to face and up close, is _adorable_. Slightly flustered, incredibly endearing and, Kurt has never seen him out of office attire, but it’s something of a revelation. His curls are loose, glasses on, and he’s wearing a navy cardigan that makes him look soft and approachable. Maybe he should look scruffy, especially to Kurt’s exacting eye, but he just looks at ease in his own skin and, as a result, completely gorgeous. 

Kurt should probably say ‘no’ to this whole thing. It’s getting weird already. But... it’s not like Blaine is even interested in him romantically, this is all just born of pure convenience.

“So, you just picked me because I was the only single guy you knew in all of Ohio? And here I was feeling so flattered,” Kurt teases and Blaine ducks his head before looking at him with those earnest, honey eyes. 

“You _should_ feel flattered because I told my family that you’re very handsome. Does that help?” 

It does help a little. But it’s Blaine face that removes the last of Kurt’s reluctance. He’s smiling, sweet and sincere, with a touch of embarrassment colouring his cheeks. 

Kurt has a feeling he’ll be doing a lot of impulsive things if Blaine keeps looking at him like that. 


	5. Event

The Anderson New Year’s Eve Party is _the_ event to attend in their neighbourhood in Westerville, a fact that Pam is fiercely proud of. It also results in Blaine barely getting to dwell on the Kurt situation on the lead up to the night in question because he’s kept too busy cleaning every inch of the house under his mother’s intense supervision. 

When Kurt does show up, bang on time, and looking completely stunning, Blaine doesn’t get a chance to do more than give him a quick hug hello before Pam descends, demanding to be introduced.

It turns out Kurt wasn't lying. He is excellent at meeting parents.

He’s brought flowers for Pam and a bottle of prosecco and is full of compliments for everything, from the house to Pam’s outfit. Even Blaine’s father, usually taciturn towards strangers at best, and hostile at worst, is telling Kurt to, “Call me Gabriel,” by the end of the introduction. 

Blaine is stunned. He suspects witchcraft but he has no proof. 

“Blaine mentioned you’re good at cooking?” Pam asks Kurt. It _was_ something Blaine had mentioned. Kurt was notorious in the office for bringing in the most amazing homemade baked goods. He feels a little awkward at it just being brought up, though. Kurt casts him the swiftest of looks before nodding. 

“Yeah, I’m not bad,” he allows. 

“Would you mind coming to look at these canapés?” Pam is already ushering Kurt into the kitchen without really waiting for an answer so Kurt just shrugs, casting one more look back over his shoulder at Blaine, mouthing _help me._ Blaine laughs. His mom has always been like this. He adores her for it and is embarrassed by it in equal measure. 

He unfortunately doesn’t have time to save Kurt because more guests start to arrive and he gets caught up in a constant stream of greetings and taking coats and saying 'Happy New Year' so many times that it starts to lose meaning. 

“I just met your boyfriend.” Cooper appears suddenly, smiling winningly at the neighbour he’s practically knocked out of the way to get to Blaine. 

“Not my boyfriend,” Blaine mutters. 

“He’s great,” Cooper beams. “He’s seen some of my work. I think he’s a fan.” Cooper preens and Blaine swears under his breath. Just what he needs. Another guy in a long line of people to be dazzled by his brother. 

“I’m glad you’re here,” Blaine says pleasantly. “You can take over greeting guests for a bit. So I can be with my great ‘not boyfriend’.” He slips away before Cooper can protest. 

Blaine pauses first to knock back the first glass of champagne he can find. This whole deception already feels like it’s getting away from him a little bit. Kurt was literally meant to be a shield against being set up, not have Blaine’s entire family fall in love with him. It's rather inconvenient.

As if in answer to that thought, when he does finally find Kurt, it’s to see him dancing with Tina. They’re both being completely, joyfully ridiculous. Kurt spins Tina wildly and Blaine watches on fondly as she laughs, head thrown back. 

His stomach does something very strange at the sight of them both, although he can't name the emotion. This can definitely only be a one night thing. He already feels weird about it. He doesn’t like lying as a rule. Especially to people he loves. 

“What are you doing?” Cooper asks, startling Blaine out of his reverie. He’s apparently escaped from door duty. If he bothered to do it at all. 

“Nothing." _Having a minor crisis_. "Thinking,” Blaine answers. 

“You look like you’re sulking.”

“I’m not sulking.”

“Then why is your face like this?” Cooper demands, pouting in an over exaggerated fashion and crossing his arms over his chest. He looks like a peeved toddler and Blaine deeply hopes that isn’t what he had just looked like. Because that would be embarrassing. 

“Any pouting was purely coincidental,” he says and Cooper laughs, throwing an arm over his shoulders. 

“So why aren’t you dancing with your man instead of watching him dance with someone else?” 

“I was just on my way to dancing with him,” Blaine says stiffly. “And they just looked…” he trails off. Kurt looks like he belongs here. His stomach does the weird flipping thing again. He shouldn’t have had that champagne on an empty stomach. 

“They looked like they were having fun?” Cooper offers. “Which is what you should be doing. Come on, B. Cheer up. Go rescue Kurt from Tina. You know what she’s like. She looks innocent now, but I bet she’s just waiting for a chance to give him the full interrogation. Go dance with him. _Smile_.” 

Blaine has little choice but to follow orders. He can’t really think of a good reason not to. Kurt catches his eye as he approaches and grins broadly at the sight of him. Blaine can’t help but smile back, a little shyly. 

“Forgive me for cutting in. But I was hoping that Kurt would dance with me ,” he says when he’s near enough to be heard. His eyes don’t leave Kurt’s face but it’s Tina that answers. 

“Of course you can. I was just borrowing him. I should probably go and find Mike anyway.” She blows Blaine a kiss and wanders off into the crowd, leaving Blaine and Kurt to stare at each other for long enough that it should be awkward. 

“Sorry about her,” Blaine says eventually. “I’m sure whatever she’s told you is a lie.”

Kurt chuckles. “That’s a shame because she was saying that you’re the kindest person alive and sing beautifully. That’s kind of my type.” He winks and Blaine isn’t sure if he’s being teased or not. 

“Well then all I can say is that she has actually _under_ sold me if anything,” Blaine says with faux arrogance and is rewarded with another bright laugh. 

“Noted,” Kurt says softly and he steps close, wrapping his arms around Blaine’s shoulders. Blaine is confused for a second before he remembers. Right. Dancing. He can do that. 

They sway for a bit, kind of out of line with the cheesy pop song that’s blasting out of the speakers but neither of them seem inclined to do anything else. 

“I thought I’d done something wrong,” Kurt says suddenly. “Because you were sulking in the corner.”

“I was _not_ sulking,” Blaine protests, a little sulkily. “I was just thinking.”

“About your ex?” Kurt asks, which makes Blaine blink in confusion.

“No,” he says honestly. “Why do you ask that?”

“It’s a hard time of year to be missing people you love,” Kurt says simply. "“And you were with him the whole time I’ve known you. It must be tough.” 

“I don’t know,” Blaine says, subconsciously tightening his hold, tucking his head over Kurt’s shoulder. He’s the perfect height to dance with. “It was kind of hard on Christmas Day but, not now. It’s nice not being alone. To have someone to look across the room for. Someone to dance with.” 

Kurt nods. “Even if it isn’t real.”

“Yeah. Even if it isn't real."


	6. Farm

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry for going MIA, gang. Work just suddenly got unexpectedly mega hectic and I have been working All The Hours. 
> 
> I have been reading and appreciating all your comments in that time though. You are all the fuel that fans the creative flames *dramatic music swells* 
> 
> I'm going to update this as and when I can. Hopefully a bit more regularly.
> 
> (Also sorry for calling you "gang" like an overenthusiastic camp counselor)

They dance for a long time, talking when it's quiet enough and just moving together when it's not. Eventually they're too dizzy and breathless to keep going and call a mutual time out. 

"Come get a drink," Blaine says, grabbing Kurt's hand. It feels natural. They've been tangled up in each other's space for too long to get shy now. 

"Get me one?" Kurt squeezes Blaine's hand. "I'm just going to grab something to eat. You want anything?" 

"Whatever you're having," Blaine beams and watches Kurt wade his way through the crowd. 

Which of course means that Blaine gets immediately ambushed by well meaning relatives that he's too polite to give the brush off too. He has to answer more questions about Kurt than he knows legitimate answers too including an embarrassing moment of not even knowing how old he is. 

He explains it away as best he can. "He's just my date for the party," he says over and over. "We're not that serious."

He's starting to realise what a terrible error in judgement it was to bring a fake date to a family event. His aunt is going to have him married off by the end of the night if he's not careful. 

Kurt appears on the periphery of the group with food but Blaine widens his eyes and shakes his head as subtley as possible. If The Relatives get hold of Kurt, neither of them are getting out of here this side of January. 

Kurt takes it in stride, sparing a sympathetic glance before diverting off and handing the plate of food to Cooper instead, engaging him in conversation. 

Blaine tries and fails to not feel jealous about that.

Fifty questions later, he finally shakes the relatives but has now lost track of Kurt. Cooper is dancing with one of their cousins so he's no help. Tina is helping Pam serve and neither of them have seen him. 

At this rate Blaine's going to have to watch the ball drop on his own after all. Which would be completely against all the point of this deception. Not to mention kind of lonely feeling. 

"I saw him step out," Mike says dancing past Blaine on his sixth circuit of the house. 

"What?"

"Your boy," Mike clarifies. "You seem like you're looking for him? He went out for some air I think. He's great, by the way. Good choice."

Blaine barely manages to not roll his eyes. "Thanks."

*

Kurt is leaning against the fence, arms folded and staring upward at the sky, completely lost in thought. 

Blaine clears his throat quietly, trying not to startle him. "Hey, are you OK?" 

Kurt smiles but he looks sort of distracted and Blaine wishes he knew him well enough to know whether Kurt wanted company or not. 

"I'm good. Just was starting to feel like a sheep in a farm pen for a moment there."

"A… _what?_ "

Kurt laughs. "Crowded," he explains, waving his hands vaguely. "Just needed to breathe for a second."

"Oh. I can leave you alone…?"

"No, it's OK. But can we stay out here for a bit?" 

"Of course." Blaine moves closer, leaning next to Kurt and turning into his space slightly. "Listen, I don't think I've properly said thank you for tonight. I could make your morning coffee for you every day for a year and not make this up to you." 

"Don't worry about it." Kurt shrugs. "You can just owe me a massive favour that I can call in at any time."

"Well, that's terrifying," Blaine says conversationally and Kurt laughs, turning in to mirror Blaine, looking at his face. 

"Don't you trust me?" Kurt teases. 

"I barely know you," Blaine points out mildly. "But fine. One big favour. Nothing weird."

Kurt snorts. "Because this was such a _normal_ thing to ask a random coworker to do for you."

Blaine probably deserved that. 

He's still trying to mentally mount a defense, (he's got nothing) when the swell of voices inside the house distracts them both. 

"Sounds like it's nearly midnight," Kurt murmurs. "Want to go in?"

"No." It's a crisp evening and he's cold but it feels considerably better, all of a sudden, to be alone with Kurt than surrounded by a mixture of overbearing relatives and near strangers. "Here is good."

"Okay," Kurt breathes so quietly that Blaine barely hears. His breath is visible in the frigid air and he shivers slightly. 

"Oh. I can get you a coat," Blaine says, jolting upright and feeling immediately guilty for asking Kurt to stay out in the cold. "Or we can just go in. Stupid idea really."

"Blaine." Kurt's voice is quiet and he puts a gentle hand on Blaine's arm, tugging at him until they're face to face. "It's fine." He steps close and Blaine huffs out a nervous breath, but Kurt barely touches him. He's close enough that Blaine can feel the warmth of him through their thin layers and he understands what Kurt is trying to do. 

"You can come closer if you want." It sounds like a line and he heroically resists the urge to do anything with his eyebrows but Kurt seems to catch something in his look because he smirks. 

He doesn't comment though, he just sinks againt Blaine with a sigh, mirroring the way they were dancing earlier. They're quiet for a moment and then Blaine jolts when freezing cold fingers inch up under his shirt and onto bare skin. 

"Fuck! You're like ice," he protests and Kurt actually giggles.

"Consider this your penance."

"You're horrible," Blaine groans but he doesn't step away. It feels surprisingly comfortable to be like this with Kurt. He decides not to examine that thought too closely. Suppress and deny. The Anderson motto.

The countdown starts up inside but neither of them bother to move. They just stay wrapped up together, surprisingly comfortable in their silence. Blaine wonders if Kurt is thinking about The Kiss. It occurs to him that there's no reason for them to kiss now. No one is around to witness it one way or another. They can get off this train wreck with some boundaries still intact.

He opens his mouth to say as much but gets distracted by Kurt's face, tilted down to his, bathed in moonlight, smiling and soft. And completely breathtaking. 

_"One!"_ the guests inside chorus aand there's a beat of hesitation between them. Then Kurt puts a gentle hand on Blaine's chin and leans in, pressing a sweet kiss to his lips.

When Blaine had thought about it (the regular amount obviously) he had planned it to be little more than a chaste, performative peck. But Kurt's mouth is warm and encouraging under his and he finds himself lingering, pressing into the kiss and reaching up to cup Kurt's face.

He's missed this. The heat of a body against his, a hand in his hair, the soft sounds of half caught breaths as they part for a mere second and come together again. 

The hand Kurt has under his shirt shifts to spread wide and warm on the small of his back, a gentle press to keep him close. It's the thoughtless intimacy of the gesture that has Blaine pulling away. 

Kurt is not his boyfriend. Kurt isn't anything to him really. Making out with him in the freezing cold backyard doesn't seem like a very smart idea. Making out with him _anywhere_ doesn't seem like a smart idea. He looks at Kurt's face again. Not smart. But definitely something he really wants to do. 

If Kurt notices he's freaking out, he doesn't mention it. He just grins. "Happy new year."

"Happy new year, Kurt." Blaine brushes an absent thumb over Kurt's cheekbone. 

"Blaine?" Kurt's voice sounds oddly intimate. Or maybe it's just the closeness of him. 

"Mmm?" 

"Your hands are freezing," Kurt says. He's smiling but he steps back so Blaine's hands fall to his side. 

Blaine blinks several times, trying to catch up. He doesn't know if he's disappointed or relieved. "Revenge is sweet," he declares eventually. 

"Best served cold," Kurt jokes and Blaine actually groans through a laugh.

"Terrible. That was just terrible." 

Kurt grins at him, unruffled. "Come on." Kurt links his arm through Blaine's. "Let's get back in the warm."


	7. Grey

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kurt's POV today!

Kurt doesn’t typically consider himself to be a dweller. He’s usually quite forward facing, eyes on the horizon, taking each challenge as it comes. It’s why he’s so good at predicting fashion trends. But, he’ll admit, that right now, he is definitely dwelling. Dwelling too hard and for entirely too long. On Blaine. Or, more specifically, on that kiss.

It’s largely the embarrassment of the whole thing that keeps him up at night. He’d realised about 0.7 seconds too late that there was actually no need to kiss Blaine at all. The kiss had been to sell the ruse. That’s what they’d discussed and agreed to. Unfortunately, by the time he’d processed that thought, his mouth was already happily engaged with the task at hand.

Small wonder that Blaine had jerked away with _that_ look on his face. Kurt has relived the moment at least seventeen times by this point and he still can’t interpret exactly what that look had meant. Blaine had seemed confused, even _troubled_ , but the gentle touch of his hand on Kurt’s face had said something else entirely.

And then they had both proceeded to get merrily drunk with Blaine’s entire neighbourhood and the time for discussion about the incident passed without real comment.

Kurt tries to just bury the thought. They haven’t spoken all that much since New Year’s Eve and it’s nearly February now. Blaine has moved on. _He_ has moved on. Everyone is moving on. No dwelling necessary. Blaine got what he needed, and Kurt has a favour ready to go. This would soon fade into the realms of stories that he would drunkenly tell at parties in five years’ time when Blaine was no longer even in the periphery of his life.

“Hey, Kurt.” 

Kurt briefly considers the fact that maybe he had thought about Blaine so hard that he had literally summoned him to his desk. He tries to apply the same intensity of thought to Taron Egerton.

Nothing happens.

“Blaine,” he says, letting the dumb grin that had wanted to appear the minute Blaine had, spill onto his face. “What can I do for you on this fine, grey, January morning?”

Blaine smiles, a little shyly. "Why do you look so happy?"

"Oh…" Kurt flails about for a reason. _Your face_ feels a bit forward, even for him. And then he sees what Blaine is carrying. "You're holding two coffees and I assumed one was for me?"

"Good assumption. Sorry, I didn't know your order, but I noticed you have a sweet tooth, so I got you a mocha."

"Good assumption," Kurt grins. "Now, not that I'm complaining about being hand delivered coffee by a cute guy, but to what do I owe the pleasure?"

Blaine goes crimson. Kurt holds back a laugh. Blaine is gratifyingly easy to make blush. It's incredibly endearing.

"Can't a guy buy a coffee for a colleague without ulterior motives?"

"I guess." Kurt is slightly bemused. They've barely interacted since New Year’s Eve by some unspoken agreement that their deception and therefore any half-forged friendship was over. He suspects there might be more to it though. “But…?”

"Are you seeing anyone?” Blaine blurts and Kurt blinks.

“No?” Kurt says, his confusion turning the word into a question. “I mean. No. I definitely am not. Why?”

He has a brief, vivid fantasy of Blaine dragging him into a meeting room and kissing him senseless. He’s not actually convinced Blaine has it in him. Nor the inclination to do it. But it’s fun to think about.

"I just thought…" Blaine's cheeks are still pink and he ducks his head a little. "I enjoyed hanging out with you on New Year’s. It seems silly to act like we don’t know each other and well… we both agreed that it was nice to not be alone on a major holiday, right?"

"Right…" Kurt says slowly, suspicious.

"So, I was wondering. Do you want to hang out on Valentine's Day? Purely in the fake date platonic capacity of course."

"Of course," Kurt murmurs. The taste of coffee sours in his mouth. “What else could you mean?"

"So?"

"I don't know, Blaine." Kurt feels suddenly too small for his skin. Prickly and irritable. For one wild moment he actually thought Blaine might just be asking him on a date. Not proposing some kind of convoluted, crack pot scheme in which they… what? Continued to pretend to be dating for the benefit of no one? It feels like a lot. And he’s all out of the energy for deception. 

Some of his weariness must show on his face because Blaine glances around quickly before laying a gentle hand over his and giving it a small squeeze. "Sorry," Blaine murmurs, releasing him. "I think that came out wrong. I don't mean fake date in a way to prove anything to anyone. I just mean… it would be nice to have a no pressure date and I really liked spending time with you at the party."

"Oh." Kurt felt a little silly for assuming the worst. Maybe once you know what a person’s mouth tastes like, it just triggers the ‘jumping to conclusions’ portion of your brain. Maybe that’s why all romance movies are so fraught with miscommunication.

"Let me try that again," Blaine grins. "And I thought I made such a great start with the coffee."

"It is a known way to my heart," Kurt concedes, relaxing slightly.

"Kurt Hummel. Will you hang out with me on Valentine's Day? So that neither of us have to be alone on this, the most obnoxious of commercialised holidays. Platonically, but for reasons of pure wholesome frivolity, not any weird reasons. To this I swear."

Kurt laughs. He's actually not sure about the logic of going out on Valentine's day platonically with someone he's attracted to. Especially someone he's already kissed and knows the feel of their body against his.

But Blaine has that look again. All sweetness and big eyes and Kurt is going to have to get him to start wearing a full mask because that face is a completely unfair superpower.

 _Fuck it._ "Okay. But I think we need to review our rules."

"Must you suck the fun out of everything?" Blaine complains but his eyes are sparkling.

"I'm very good at sucking," Kurt says mischievously. Blaine blushes on cue.

Kurt’s pretty sure he will never get tired of that.


End file.
